Bitter Sweet Moments

It is amazing how things hit you at the weirdest times. Last night I lay in bed, in tears, thinking about my grandfather who will have passed away 10 years ago, come the 25 July of this year. I remember the day quite clearly.

It was about 3am when we received a call from the hospital. The whole day turned upside down. I went to school, cos life goes on as usual... It was my matric dance that night, so I got dressed by myself and my parents made it home just in time to see me off.

At the memorial service I remember our family being in a little back room away from prying eyes before the service. Suddenly my grandmother wondered whether people would think she was really horrible for wearing a bright flowered dress at such an occasion. But we assured her that my grandfather was a Christian and was now in heaven so it is a reason for celebration in a way so her dress was appropriate.

I remember holding back tears, because I felt it was not appropriate to cry, because no one in my family was crying. Shock of shocks, one of my cousins started crying - so uncool of her... (okay, I've since realised tears are okay, and in fact probably a good thing)

After the memorial service I got to go back to school for some extra Maths lessons that my teacher was having... cos life goes on.

Last night I was just thinking of my grandfather and the person he was, the home they had, the sweet peas and strawberries that they grew, the mole traps, the hose pipe reel I played with, the table tennis table, the drinks on the verandah, the fly swatter and the big garden, the hugs he gave and in all these things I just missed him. I remembered the time when he was in hospital and he just wanted to hold my grandmothers hand. I thought that was so sweet after 50 years of marriage.

I guess last night's tears was an opportunity for me to realise that the people who are important in my life are not going to be there forever and I should treasure the moments I do have with them.