Going out with someone and being married to someone (I’m guessing, as I haven’t had experience) are two different things. When you are going out with someone, if they are in a bad mood or quiet or sad etc, you can choose whether to be around them or not. But when you are married, you get to experience their every mood, and with me, I am affected quite a lot by other people’s moods.
I’ve been quite daunted by this fact. My boyfriend is very quiet and his attention is usually not 100% with me for about an hour after he gets home from work. It is not a simple thing that he “must change” – he would if he could. In fact, he would love it if he could.
I was praying about it this morning and was reminded that God doesn’t want us to be miserable in a marriage. The people in the marriage also don’t want to be miserable. So everyone involved actually want the same thing. In fact, God wants our marriages to be a reflection of his “marriage relationship” with his “bride”. So our relationships should be honouring to Him. And if we pray about it, He will help us to bring honour to Him.
Sometimes you need to look out of the box for solutions and I think there are quite a few out of the box solutions to this. But most of all, I was reminded that God is powerful and God’s the God of miracles, and he is the same God today as he always has been.
Even if I look back over the last 6 months, things have happened that I would NEVER have expected to happen. In fact, in some of the cases, I didn’t even pray for it to happen, because I didn’t think it could happen.
God is in control, he doesn’t give us more than we can handle. I love my boyfriend and want to spend time with him. I want to be there for him in the hour that he is quiet and I want to put my trust in God for this.
The sermon on Sunday about having a right relationship with God, believers and unbelievers is so true – you need the 3 relationships. If you lose part of the relationship with God, then at the first challenge or bump, you are not going to cope. God is our creator
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So right, Debbie. Negotiating personal differences isn't easy, especially like you said if you're looking at differences in dating vs. marriage. Andrew and I get along fabulously but it really is only through God's grace and through us being gracious towards each other that we can have such understanding and patience.
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